I am sorry, rereading my post I realize I sound like a drama queen, but I really want this drama to stop. If I could, I would turn back time to 4 weeks ago and just see whether a relationship between us would work this time around or not, and forget about saving the friendship. But I can't and I feel it is too late now, especially since he seems to be seeing someone new or at least having frequent one-night stands. Because I care about him I tried to hold on to some sort of friendship between us, but I am starting to think that this is just not possible.
I really hope you don't have to put this relationship down because of this feeling.
It's natural AND wrong.
All my relationships have been such that we've been able to have natural, easy, free flowing conversation and it was never a case of pulling teeth, awkward silence or them "entertaining" me and trying to keep it afloat like a sinking ship. That free flowing easy conversation is important to me personally and in my personal experience if it doesn't happen on the phone or after a first date it probably never will. When I meet men and it's awkward in that way it usually goes no further,.
To her, respect has to be earned. And apparently i did alot of things that hurt her in the past. But does that give her the right to do so? i dont think so. She did things that hurt me, but i have never spoken to her like that.
But what happens if she becomes interested in someone else? Is she gonna break up with you again and screw this new guy and come back to you when she gets bored? But, you can't get mad about it! Because you were broken up at the time! Don't you love technicalities!!!
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Alina i already miss u"
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